The more I know the more I know I don't know
If the Wild Hearts is to continue its existence, that would be thanks to my stubbornness and curiosity, nothing else. Sitting and desperately trying to remember how and WHY I have started on this seems to be the core question to me now. To understand where to go further.
There seems to be a pattern in the stuff I do throughout my life - jumping into something for trying out how it works and what will happen IF. It's a gift, it's a curse. When I was 18 I was totally fascinated by ancient worlds. I didn't manage to enter the Oriental faculty of Saint-Petersburg State University - that's where they taught Ancient Egypt together with the hieroglyphs and history of the old world. I was rubbing along the corridors of the old university building buying books in the kiosk and looking at the lucky students - that wasn't going to happen to me.
In 2000 I entered the Social Science faculty of Saint-Petersburg State University instead, one of the oldest and most eminent educational institutions in Russia. Our lectures took place in the walls of Smolny Cathedral, the grand and pompous building and the former Institute of Noble Maidens. I probably only now start to cherish the knowledge acquired there - the great laws that are ruling our societies, our lives, our preferences and behaviours, our lives. The laws of probability and the power of statistics.
At that time I simply didn't grasp the notion of "Information Society" fully; agricultural - yes, industrial - too, but how INFORMATION could become a top valuable and a traded product was a mystery. Here we come, it's clear now, it's all about information, opinions, promises... so much that sometimes you wonder - where is a REAL thing, what do you ACTUALLY do? Later about that.
So, when I was 18, Social Science seemed to be too theoretical and hypothetical to me, so I started studying Archeology in the evenings. Some of the toughest and the most great times of my life. Every day I had to get to Smolny by bus and metro and bus and then by bus or trolleybus take a ride through the most beautiful Saint Pete from its one historical end to the other - the Spit of Vasilyevsky Island. There I was studying the history of old times, latin and the principles of archaeology.
My first expedition was to Velikiy Novgorod, where we were trying to discover the remain of a Middle Ages settlement. No gold, no skeletons - just clay and some dark matter, which we had to really take care of, because THAT was the remains we were looking for. The students were used as mules, but we had lots of fun and I grew muscles as I never had before or after during that season. My next expedition was in the North, and there were skeletons and jewellery - no gold again, and I don't know how glorious it was to dig the tombs, but it was some of the best days I've had - among the cold waters of the Barents Sea, marble shores, moss, huge crabs, sunken u-boats and great, very very special people.
To say that I was restless is to say nothing. I was hungry for experiences, life and knowledge - even before I turned 18... I knew that there was so much more to know that I didn't know yet.